Baby Wipes and Ham

My life feels like an emotional mine field sometimes.  I can go for days at a time when I feel positive and I smile.  I can go for days without crying! (This is a victory.  It’s taken me months to get to this point).

Sometimes something unexpected can set me off.   I ran into one of these triggers this morning.

My husband works in the film industry and often brings home random things that would have otherwise been thrown out like food, paper towels, paper or things like art supplies or rubber bins that he thinks I can use at my work.

He usually gets home late from work, I see him when I’m already in bed.

This morning, when my husband was still asleep, I came downstairs to find several bags on the dining room table.  Excited to see what he had brought home for me, I looked in the bags.  They were all full of baby wipes.

This did me in.I cried my whole way to work.  I cried the first time someone asked me “How are you?”I cried because had my pregnancies gone right I would have needed all these baby wipes.  I cried because I thought he might have brought them home to give to some of our friends who needed them.  I cried because I really wish that baby wipes belonged in my house right now.

I sent my husband a text as soon as I got to work.

“Please get those baby things out of our house.  They make me sad.”

Worried that I had over-reacted, I was relieved when he wrote back,

“I understand.  Sorry I didn’t think about the baby part.  I thought you might be able to use them at work”.

I was relived that he understood.  Relieved that they weren’t for other babies. Relieved that he took them out of the house.

I spoke to a friend about my “trigger”.  My friend recently lost her mother and told me about her own silly triggers.  She recalled sobbing in the grocery store when she saw a ham because she didn’t know how to cook one and would normally have consulted her mother about it.

It’s always nice to feel like I’m not alone when things like this happen.  Life is full of baby wipes and ham and the best way to get through it is with a little support from friends.

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