I participate in an online discussion group that connects waiting parents from the same agency and the same program. We are all waiting for Special Needs children from Vietnam.
Over the past year, there has been very little movement. Only one or two adoptions have gone through (that I’m aware of). There is much discussion about the changing political climate and the eventual demise of international adoption.
Recently one of the waiting moms got a referral. When I read the subject line, I was so excited. Things are moving again! Then, as I read on, my heart sank.
This woman has been waiting for six years. SIX YEARS!!!!!!!!
She was originally on a list to adopt a baby through the “mainstream” program (not Special Needs). That list was simply not moving so switched to the Special Needs program.
The child that was referred to her is a five year-old girl. This breaks my heart. This woman has been waiting 6 years, for a child that’s been there almost the whole time. It makes me so sad that the child has had to wait this long for a family. It makes me sad that the mother has had to wait to long to meet her. This referral story, which should have been inspiring, is so discouraging.
It hurts to think that my child is already “out there” waiting. It hurts to think that I could theoretically have five more years to wait.
I need to remind myself that Special Needs lists do tend to move faster. These lists don’t move in numerical order necessarily, but rather by match to the prospective parent.
I’m so glad that mom finally got her match. I can’t imagine another five years without my family. Patience and hope. You can’t choose when.