When you’re in the merge lane, it’s supposed to work like a zipper. It’s expected that you’ll let one car in (or maybe two if you’re feeling generous) before moving ahead.
I’ve been feeling lately like I’m in the merge lane, but that ALL the cars are getting in ahead of me. I’m just sitting in traffic, not moving, not getting my turn.
I’m finding it increasingly hard to feel joy for other people when they have successful pregnancies. I used to have a “pass” in my head for people who have struggled and then got pregnant. I feel now like I’ve run out of passes. For most of my struggling friends, the pain is over. They’ve moved on to have their families and I’m still stuck.
I’m not a horrible person. I sincerely hope for all the happiness in the world for everyone in my life. I want them to have families and I want them to have healthy babies. I’m just feeling so left behind. Please let me in that lane so that I can move ahead with my life.