Not quite a decision….

We’ve been sitting on our “news” for a couple of days. We haven’t talked about it much. I think the hubby is all talked out for the moment.
I contacted the adoption agency. We have moved from number 25 on the list to number 12. This is a big jump. I had been feeling negative, thinking that there hasn’t been much movement. The Special Needs program doesn’t follow a list the way the mainstream program does, but it does mean that people have brought their children home and that we are closer to ours. The rough estimate our contact gave us was another 6-12 months. This seems like forever to broken hearted me, but I know it’s not. The director of the agency is in Vietnam right now meeting children and will be making more matches when she returns in late July. That will be decision time for us. When she returns, we’ll have a better idea as to a timeline and the needs of the children that are presently waiting for families. Maybe we’ll even be matched (not holding my breath on this round).
IVF is still not off the table. I have this sting feeling that I need to try EVERYTHING before I “give up”. Once we have a better idea as to what’s going on with the adoption we will talk about it again.
In the mean time, the best thing I can do for myself (and my sanity) is to take care of myself. I have a month to eat well , exercise (something I’ve been too scared to do for fear of shaking a potential baby out of my body), be off of crazy hormone meds. This will (hopefully) help me start to feel like myself again. If we go ahead with IVF my body will be better ready. If the adoption is first, I’ll be ready to run after a toddler.
This is all I’ve got for now.

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8 thoughts on “Not quite a decision….

  1. I’m glad you have a plan now. It will be good to take a little time off while you see what happens on the adoption front. I’m thinking of you!

  2. Pingback: The Other New Year’s Eve | you can't choose when

  3. Pingback: My Not News | you can't choose when

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