Now what?

Just a quick update because it’s still a little raw to write about.  My pregnancy test was negative.  IVF didn’t work for me.  It feels like a loss in so many ways.  My heart is broken.  Now I need to figure out how to move on.  Today I have an acupuncture appointment and lunch with a great friend planned.   I guess that’s a start.



24 thoughts on “Now what?

  1. Keep taking it one step at a time. We’re all cheering you on. Special shout out to this online support network. I’m the said friend from today’s lunch date, and we were saying over ginger tea, you’re an amazing community of new friends. xo.

  2. I’m so so so sorry. I know this feeling. I had four miscarriages and did IVF. We thought we could get around the devastation with IVF, boy were we ever wrong!!! In fact, I believe my transfer was one year ago today. I had two perfect grade AA hatching blasts transfered. Given that I get pregnant quite easily, I assumed that it would work. How could it not?! Well, it didn’t. It was utterly devastating. I felt like I could never, ever go through anything related to ttc ever again. I deleted my facebook account for 5 months. And eventually I decided to try again naturally, because I knew that miscarriages were hard but I was strong enough to face them. And most people who experience recurrent loss go on to have a successful pregnancy. And my next pregnancy (#5, just clomid and a trigger and a quickie) ended up giving me my son (32 weeks now). You can’t choose when, and you can’t choose how. You can’t choose how many hurdles you have to jump before you get there. You CAN, however, choose how much heartache you think you’re capable of withstanding. And there are so many ways to get where you want to go. SO many. xo

    • Thank you so much for this. These are exactly the things I’m trying to figure out right now. I don’t feel ready to give up but I don’t know if I can face another loss. I certainly don’t see myself using birth control and shutting it down completely. A lot to consider. I’m so glad it finally worked for you. It gives me hope

  3. I’ve had 4 failed IVF with my eggs and 2 more with donor eggs (chemical pregnancy on the latter). All you can do is pick yourself up when you’re ready and try again. Not trying again is ok too. It’s hard to get off the treatment treadmill without a baby. Hang in there.

    • Thanks for sharing your story. I think
      It’s $ that’s going to keep me off the treatments at this point. I’m wondering about the risks of trying naturally (can I handle another MC?)
      Maybe it’s time just to hope and focus on adoption.
      Maybe I’ll just go one day at a time

  4. ((hugs)) You aren’t alone. I found out on the 2nd that IVF didn’t work for me. May 2013 be the worst year we ever have… I hope it goes up from here!

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