Anniversary of a due date

Tomorrow is the one year anniversary of the due date of my third pregnancy.  My baby would be turning one.  My good friend was so excited when my doctor told me the date because it is also her son’s birthday.  This is the baby that I carried at my wedding. This is the one my doctor was so sure of.  My hCH levels were so high she originally speculated that it was twins.  This was the third time I was pregnant.  It was the second heartbeat that I got to hear. We got to keep a print out of the ultrasound.  I cried for joy.  I was so sure that three times would be a charm.  This was also the LAST time I was pregnant.  Since this third loss I haven’t even been able to conceive – not with monitoring, medication, IUI or IVF.

Due dates have been hard on me.  This time it isn’t AS bad.  Maybe I’m finally starting to get numb to it.  I’ll never be able to get those dates out of my head.  March 14, June 26, January 18.  These days will always represent what was lost and what could have been.  All I can hope for is that every year it hurts a little less.

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10 thoughts on “Anniversary of a due date

  1. I am so sorry…sorry for all of this. And hoping with you that someday it will all hurt less. I am hoping that that someday is with a wonderful future, maybe with a little one in your arms. Hoping for strength for you today, and for all of your angel’s due dates.

  2. Anniversaries are so hard. My cousin had her baby the same week our first was due. I’ll never forget when she announced her pregnancy and we’d just lost ours at 8 weeks. I don’t see her or the child much. All I see when a look at them is how that should be us too & that our baby would be the same age etc. I feel mean for being like that, but self protection has become so important when dealing with our IF & miscarriages.

  3. I so understand where you’re coming from. I’m about to meet a due date face on next week. Probably the most traumatic one of all. It’s so hard, so sad. Sending you huge hugs and lots of love xx

  4. I’m so sorry. What a painful journey to go through and experience. I hope one day you find peace and happiness through it all whether it be with a successful pregnancy or not xo

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