My Not News

The adoption process moves very slowly. The wait seems like forever, especially because the wait to have a child started way before the adoption process ever began.

Here’s my sort-of-not-really news.  We’ve moved up on the list.  In December of 2012 we were #25.  By July 2013, we had moved up to #12.  Now, in March of 2014 we are #6 on the list.  That’s my news.  Being a Special Needs adoption, the list isn’t as straight forward as a regular list.  For example, if there is something on our “would consider” medical need list that comes up before someone ahead of us, we could jump the queue. The woman at the agency (the sweetest woman in the world) told me that there are two people on the list above us who have specified “girl only”.  If by some miracle more boys come up, that means we’re actually #4 on the list.

Hearing the single digit numbers got me excited.  Things are moving. There is hope. The conversation with the agency brought me to tears.  I can do this!  But then reality set in.

Optimistically speaking (I’m trying to be optimistic), the soonest we would be matched would be August or September.  That is two full years after starting the adoption process.  There is also a chance that we could wait another year before being matched. The long wait also means having to renew our home study, re-do our police, medical and financial checks and re-submit our updated application to Vietnam.

I’ve also just learned that the time from match to travel can be from 6-12 months.  This broke my heart.  Even if we get our optimistic September match it could feasibly be the following September by the time we meet our child.  I’ll still need to get through at least another Christmas, school year, couple of birthdays, Mother’s Days, friends having more babies. There goes my optimism.  It’s just so much time.

For all of those positive thinkers out there, I need you.  I need your pep talks, your encouragement, your reminders that I CAN do this and that it will be worth it, your positives vibes to match me with a boy so that I can move up the list, your hope that it won’t take so long.



12 thoughts on “My Not News

  1. Girl toucan do this and it will be soooo worth the wait. I know you will miss out on all of those holidays but just think of all the ones afterwards you will get to enjoy :). Prayers it will go quick!!!

  2. I admire your patience and perseverance! Not that repeat IVF failure is a cakewalk, but I don’t think I could handle the adoption process. I hope you keep zooming up that list!

  3. I find it so exciting that you are number 6 (and maybe even 4) in the list. Congrats on making it to one digit!!!
    It’s horrible to have to wait even longer than expected, especially when the matching takes place and all you want is to take your baby home with you.
    I still read in between your lines that you may get a baby in 1-1.5 years. That is really soon! It may sound like a long time but it’s not that long… and you can certainly do it! Maybe taking some time for you and your sweet half or planning a fun trip could help make the wait feel shorter..
    Thinking of you and hoping for a baby boy to join your family soon!

  4. Your kiddo is coming. The timing may never make sense to you…but when you meet your child THAT CHILD will make sense to you. Things that are this amazing are not on chronological time…they are on cosmic/universe/God’s time…and it’s not easy. But it is so much bigger than we will ever know. I am sure of it.

  5. I’ve just spent the last 20 minutes engrossed in your blog after hearing some really disappointing news about our first ivf attempt this week.Thank you for sharing and letting me know that there are others out there who know how I’m feeling. I can just tell from reading your words that you will be an AMAZING mother one day and I wish with all my heart that your baby finds you soon! Hang in there xxx

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